Free Bird

I’ve had a troubling problem I’ve realized over the last year or two that goes something like this:

When I travel, I give myself permission to tap into my mental creativity, my “Free Bird”.

It doesn’t matter if it’s by SE Asian bus, plane, or Ruby. What Free Bird looks like to me, is ridding myself of the expectation of productivity. I’m a busy-bee naturally, but the second I sit down on an airplane for a 24hr flight, I relax on a fully new level. I feel lighter - like a whispy dragon fly dancing through time & space. I get creative. I write, like well & I enjoy it. I journal. I listen to good music. I reflect. My mind wanders. And I love it. I love being on airplanes. I love traveling. I love how free and unweighted I feel when I travel.

I feel so untied to the busyness and distractions of life & so tied into my most free self, my Free Bird.

It’s so refreshing & something I long for very much. And I feel grateful to know, at least, where I can go to get some mental freedom. All it takes is a little cash money, a passport, & destination on a map! ;)

And you’re probably wondering what the problem is in that…

But when I wake up on a Saturday morning at home with no plans, I struggle to tap into this same energy space. I feel heavy - loaded down - like there are 278098 layers of mud between me and that whispy dragon fly. Layers like the laundry, house cleaning, dirty dishes, a body to workout, and on and on. I put a list of “stuff” in my day vs allowing myself creative expression - trying to rid the layers to get to the Free Bird, but I rarely find my way all the way there. Sitting on the couch with my blog up & computer open on a Saturday just feels wrong to me. I get ancy; I struggle to write; I try to busy my mind with stuff. My creativity doesn’t flow well (likely due to myself not giving me the permission to let it flow).

I’ve observed this about myself for a while, but I’ve had a hard time understanding WHY! Is it a thing with weekends? Something with growing up in the Catholic church & Sunday being a rest day? Do I need to first kick my ass in Peleton? A piece of cheese?

Why does my creative expression feel so suppressed on just a typical day at home in my pajamas?

I’ve been searching for some answers for a while - attempting to give myself the permission, make time for writing, build spaces that feel more creative (love burnt orange right now), do all the house things on Saturday so by Sunday, there is little to do and so on. I see glimpses, but never the same feeling or mental space as being on the road or in the sky. If you don’t believe me, check out my blog history. It all lines up with my adventures! Granted, adventures are more fun to write about than sitting on the couch on a Saturday, but let’s be honest, I don’t do a whole lot of couch-sitting.

And then I was reading (something that also only feels right on the road, but I can mostly tap into during a long bubble bath as well) Colin Jost’s memoir “A Very Punchable Face” (not the first place I was to go for advice…) and found something that may be a viable solution -

To this day, I’m always more productive while traveling because I know the journey itself is getting me somewhere, and that frees my mind to be more creative. There’s a reason it took an American to invent the rocking chair - because even when we’re sitting still, we like to feel like we’re in motion.

LIGHT BULB MOMENT. ALL THIS TIME & I JUST NEED A FREAKING ROCKING CHAIR.

Well, maybe not just the rocking chair, although I’m tempted to try it. But the need to be “in motion” in order for myself to let myself tap into my creativity? It’s something that makes sense to me and my upbringing as well, growing up in a home where working hard (physically) was always rewarded, but not so much creative expression (mostly the life of growing up on a farm where there is always more to get done).

The other piece of the puzzle is less distraction and no choice but to be alone with my thoughts. You don’t get so caught up in plans and who you are seeing when because you literally don’t know anyone around you. There aren’t washing machines and dishes and houses to stop over at. But this added anew perspective of travel that I hadn’t thought about before.

As long as I feel like I have a purpose on my mission (even when the purpose is to hack into my Free Bird) and am going places physically (via plane…or Ruby…or a hostel in Costa Rica), I open the gates of mental freedom.

And this, my friends, is a big part of my WHY for traveling. <3

Peace & love,

yo’ girl Jen