Lost in the Woods

 Yesterday, I woke up in decision-fatigue. It was one of those days where no matter what decision we made about our day, there would be another nearly equal or possibly better choice to make - everything had PROs and everything had CONs and none felt like the right choice. We typically travel planning our day the night before or while we're on the road, but sometimes when we're in new places (like Canada) and we are warned it's a busy weekend (like Canadian Thanksgiving) and it's a Saturday night (‘nuff said0, I try to be a bit more on top of things. So we went to a coffee shop where we could actually surf the web (no thank you to Verizon’s international plan) with the intention of planning our weekend. But I couldn't make a choice and started feeling really stressed about the day ahead purely due to my lack of decision-making. I turned cranky.

We hit the road anyways, with more options of what the day could hold than when we arrived. Options can be good, but options can also put me in a decision-making frenzy which is what had happened. I had some things I thought to be true based on research, but then a few locals suggested some different things (& usually the locals are right…) So I started questioning my knowing. Too many and you feel overwhelmed, but too few and you feel trapped. This day had many & the overwhelm was real.

Needless to say, we got tired of driving around 2pm and found a provincial park we had our eye on and some locals recommended; they had campsites available in the plenty, so we posted up. I knew exactly what I needed to do to combat the crankiness I stewed up that morning - head into the woods.

So I did what I know best - I laced up my shoes and found a trail - trying to get that glisten going - turn on my bio instincts - and just.freaking.run. And that's exactly what I did. It was a beautiful trail - part river, part woods, part lake with glowing yellow-leaved trees around every corner. The trail was pretty skinny and fairly overgrown filled with leaves falling from the sky, signs that it wasn't frequently traveled. But it had some tree markers indicating I was actually on a trail and I was feeling good, so I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to WHERE I actually was. I found a side trail that went to the river's edge - and across the river, I spotted another trail sign on a tree. I got excited & skipped some rocks across the river & headed to the east bank (sounded cool - could have been any direction). The trail sign turned from blue to green - whatevs - I got back into gear & kept boogying.

At some point on this trail, I got a weird feeling that maybe I wasn't where I thought I was. I think it was about the time when the trail basically did a U-turn and started heading back in the same direction I had just came from. But according to the map I took a pic of before heading out, the trail was a loop, so I didn't over-analyze too much. But then, I hit a river…again…the seemingly same river I had crossed to get over to this trail…and then the exact log I remembered climbing over…at the exact height that forced me to straddle it and then shift my hips from one side to the other because it was too tall for my little legs to both be on the ground at the same time. That was the moment when I confirmed I was in a real loop that I didn’t know how to get out of. I recognized the trail, but didn't recognize how to get back to the other trail. I did a second loop just to be sure I didn't miss any forks in the road, but nada; no good. I was about 6 miles in and it was starting to rain. And just like this morning, I soon started questioning my knowing. I was lost in the woods, in a freakish loop that without attention would just continue in an infinite pattern.

[I eventually looked up the trail on AllTrails (the RIGHT trail) & figured out where I needed to cross the river to catch the actual trail that was on the map - Jake and puppers were on a rescue mission, so I met them in the woods & we had a jolly walk home. The trail I crossed into was NOT marked on any maps I could find - so I guess I found the hidden gem :D]

This weird day full of weird feelings got me reflecting - how often do we find ourselves lost in the woods? Are we in a continual loop of life that has no clear way out? That is something I love Ruby for - she helps break up the day-to-day life we are used to living to send us after something new. Whether we are ready for it or just finding a new place to be lost. I love letting ourselves feel lost and wonderous and in search of whatever these new places have to offer. Feel open to receive, but not expectant. "Seeking" I like to call it - seeking beauty in nature, in people we run into, in new experiences together. Seeking peace and discomfort and fresh air and missing home. Breaking up that loop of life that needs a remodel every now & then - fixer-upper style. ;)

Peace, love, and stay curious always,

yo' girl Jen