May 4

May 4 India Part III, Finale (circa '17)

Basic (entry #7)

Originally posted Nov 6th, 2017.

Context: flight home post-3 weeks in India.

I have realized that one of the biggest indicators about what country you are in can be understood by taking a peek at the toilet. I got off my 15-HOUR flight from Abu Dhabi, went to the bathroom, saw the automated plastic cover on the toilet seat, got the biggest smile across my face, took a deep breath of FRESH air, and thought to myself "I made it; this is America".

Pictured below: NOT an Western toilet, but an Indian train toilet - no TP needed due to the air flow coming up from beneath.

After a few weeks of being the object of stares, blending again feels so good and on this day, I was on a mission to blend as much as possible. Immediately following the toilet incident, I went to Starbucks and ordered a Chestnut praline latte (basic), picked up a bagel and cream cheese (basic), put in my head phones, and took out my Apple computer (basic) without fear of putting a target on my back. In the 4 hours of my layover, I have had zero requests for a selfie (knock on wood). So far, I have had zero interruptions. So far, I have only felt like a basic white-girl who's waiting for her flight back home and it's incredible.

It feels a little bit backwards to say it as this is not my usual way, but I'm really loving every second of being basic. This will all probably change tomorrow when I walk out into the SNOW in my Sorel boots, yogas, and long black coat and look like EVERY single other female in the America, but for now, it's calming and refreshing because blending in means I'm home (or nearly - currently on my layover in Chicago). Sweet, sweet home.

I find myself traveling when I'm bored with life, looking for change, need a new focus, unhappy with something, not reaching my potential, going in an uncertain direction, etc. I found that nearly every traveler I ran into does the same. Some more extreme than others, but all chasing the same kind of reflection and answers to something they were unsure about...especially travelers in developing countries that are extremely unique from our own. You're after something, looking for some sort of clarity, need time away from lists and schedules and meetings (ughhh - meetings) and the pace that we Americans are told we should follow - the path that is set in stone, the American dream.

The reasons I love the Asias are the same reason that Asia can be the most challenging country for me. They don't follow a schedule, they don't have organization, they don't have a concept of stress and that, in itself, is refreshing, but mind-boggling and something I always learn from and find beautiful. Americans are obsessed with doing more even if more doesn't mean better (quantity >> quality). You're doing things "right" in America if you ARE working insanely long hours, if you ARE pushing yourself to the max, if you ARE making loads of money (even if you don't have time to spend it), if you ARE so exhausted and stressed out by Friday that all you want to do is get drunk or go to bed or get drunk & go to bed. That's how we (yes, I’m generalizing), as a country, define "success". That's not how I want to define my success.

I want to be doing work I am passionate about, that I feel like I have a purpose and am spending my 40+ hours a week for the general good, that I leave my work team and am proud of what we do. I find myself coming back to this quote: “We’re taught to work a soul crushing job for forty years so that one day we might actually be able to retire and enjoy our lives for like 3 years”. Traveling gets me out of these pressures and American "norms" that I don't want to follow. I am able to think clearly and remind myself that I don't have to follow them. I always find myself motivated to find change upon returning from travel - it could be paying more attention to my relationships, giving more time or letting go of certain friendships, career shifts, giving up hobbies that I no longer enjoy, going back to hobbies I do enjoy, cleaning out my closet, getting rid of clutter, being more intentional with the way I define my priorities. All these things make me feel more whole and lead to more happiness...that's after all our end goal, right?

I also like to travel because I'm forced to do things I don't usually make time for such as reading books, journaling, blogging, meeting new people, going out of my comfort zone, and having patience (and in Asia, you have no choice but to have patience or you will be miserable). Things that have been pushed to the back-burner get attention. Weaknesses get exposed and I actually am able to realize what those are and get on an action path to purposefully make a change (ex. Patience).

My last day in India I chose to spend at a 5-star hotel next to the airport thanks to a wonderful travel friend who invited me to live the luxury life with him our last day in India.

My bus (another fiasco) got to Delhi at 4:30AM and the town doesn't really wake up until 9AM or later. So instead of sleeping in the trash-ridden streets, I headed right to the castle! Upon arriving, I was greeted with a man grabbing my luggage, asking to get my drinks, and leading me to the reception. It was a "am I still in India kinda moment?" – I honestly may have even asked him that very questions! Although we maybe didn’t fit in so well with our backpacks and semi-dirty clothes, it was the best idea and best way to end a crazy trip. We splurged with the breakfast buffet and I acted like I hadn’t eaten bacon and peanut butter in years (3 weeks, 3 years, same same). After that, we went to chill at the outdoor pool and got served WATER on a silver platter (not joking). About every 20 minutes, these men dressed in matching Puma gear (balla’) came by to ask if we needed anything. Why yes sir, a 45min back massage would be nice! JK- but I think they would have agreed. There was even someone who came to the door and asked me if the water pressure was okay…literally rang the doorbell to ask me that. WHERE AM I? WHO AM I?

They also had a BA gym, so I got some good sweats on this afternoon and had a proper workout (first in a while). After that, I hit up the sauna and steam room (my sweet spot). Then, to finish it off, I went to the onsite spa and got a pedicure (deluxe addition) like a QUEEN. It felt amazing and I was not one bit mad I didn’t make it out of the hotel. I feel like I deserved some real vacation feels as the streets of India are opposite of “stress-free”. (See previous posts)

In the end, India challenged me in so many ways that I know have made me a stronger person, but also sent me on the biggest roller coaster of my life. I’ve never been so ready to leave a country in all honesty. I know someday I’ll look back on this experience with gratitude and know that those men that followed me 5 blocks down the street are the reason for my promotion to management :p But for now, I’m just too happy to be back, excited for my next couple months, re-energized and motivated to make some life improvements, & I encourage all to do the same. Read a good book or two, sit down and write about your day, put your phone on airplane mode, it really is magic to the soul.

Namaste,

Jen (the Chestnut praline latte, girl in long black coat BASIC B*tch one)