India Blog Part II (circa '17)
Flying Solo (entry #4)
Originally posted Oct 29th, 2017; edited May 2020.
Every time I tell people I'm traveling by myself, I get this "WHY", "you're crazy", "Omg - not safe (cause you're a single white female – can’t say that phrase without this)" kinda-look. I usually laugh and say "I like it", "it's good for me", "I'm independent", "I like having options", personal reflection, etc. I do appreciate all these things about solo travel, but it's not always that beautiful. Sometimes you get tired of small talk, but don't want to be alone (& sometimes my friends are great & alone time is great). You can feel so alone when you are truly alone or just with people who don't know you well and have to have the "soooo what do you do?" type-conversations (&let's be real, no traveler in India wants to talk about their careers back home).
In a country like India, solo travel is challenging...more challenging than I expected it to be. It's pushes you to your limits and is definitely NOT the "ohhh that was soooo relaxing" vacation. I knew this going into it which is part of the reason I wanted to go to India when I did - you need a lot of energy to be here and have a good time and be able to recharge in a matter of hours to make the most of your time. The people here and the travel system here is just a lot more exhausting than I anticipated.
Within all of the chaos, there is some really beautiful things about this country - the architecture, varying landscapes, CHAI time, devoutness to their religions, amazing sunsets, a lot of freedom (govt can't control so many people), etc. I've had some amazing opportunities here that I will probably never do again.
I recently went on a camel safari into the desert. It was the best get-a-way from such an intense couple weeks. It was just what i needed! [I'm not joking when I say I have to give myself a pep-talk every time I leave the hostel (safe place --> who knows/open mind/all guards up)]. I was finally able to find some silence in this country in the desert as there were me, a random Italian dude, 3 guides, 4 camels, and a stray desert dog.
The silence was beautiful. The sunset was beautiful. The stars were beautiful. & the camels were…smelly. I truly felt like a woman out of the bible, filled with mirages and everything.
They really are some large and odd-looking creatures, but very intriguing and perfectly suited for the desert (they don't need water for a WHOLE week)!!!! The desert-life is interesting and there is really no reason any person should live in the desert other than they grew up there and that's what they have. There are no jobs (besides safari guides), they have to buy water, camels are expensive, and their kids can't go to school because schools are so far away and they can't afford them. It's mind-boggling. They must have some good card games or something.
I have less than a week left and feel like I have really mastered traveling here, but don't necessarily feel like I want to stay here longer. I can't wait for some proper coffee, some order in life, FREAKING GENUINE PEOPLE, and some time to really turn off my mind for a few mins.
Ohhhh that will be sweet! <3
Namaste, namaste, namaste,
Jen :)
My Friend, Where From? (entry #5)
Originally posted Nov 3rd, 2017; edited May 2020.
“My friend - where from?” Seems like a harmless question, right? When you have to respond to it fifty million times a day (or don’t), it becomes quite annoying. It wouldn’t be so bad if telling people where you are from was just an innocent question of someone trying to be friendly (LOL), but we know that isn’t the truth. 🙄 Unfortunately, all questions asked by all Indian salesmen (women do not really work in the shops) are NOT innocent questions. #1 thing you should know if you are a western woman traveling to India! When people hear you are from America, there is more than one generalization made - like any stereotype, everyone’s guilty of them. WARNING: this question is a trap. “AMERICAAAAA - 1) Donald Trump, bad right?” followed by “2) ohhh come in my shop, spend all your money, you get no discounts, but my friend, the best quality and very unique - no find in America”. In India, women (in general) seem to be seen as fragile and weak and good for shopping, having babies, and putting food on the table (I actually saw a sign that read almost this exactly thing). Shopping - how can a woman resist? You want ME to eat in your restaurant - women love food, I’ll take 12 restaurants in a row. Taxi - yes please…I’m a woman and can’t use my legs (I went running the other night and countless concerned folks asked me what I was running from because they were so confused…SMH)
Fortunately(?), I do not identify with the average Indian women or the annoying stereotypes of American women. (Side note: I was with an English friend the other day, and he told me when he thinks of American women, he pictures skinny blonde girls in their bikinis getting wasted at a pool party probably with ‘Get Outta Your Mind’ playing in the background…Me—>to American women: sleep on that and then consider not playing into that role - unless you’re still in college, live it up, eh). I’ve tried playing Canadian and other various countries, but mostly just ignore the question “where from” as I’ve come to despise it.
Success rates of the ‘Ignoring strategy':
20% of people will take your no response and give up.
40% will yell it 4 more times.
40% will continue yelling it and follow you down the street - this usually requires you to acknowledge it in some way unless you want a man following you. Depending on my level on annoyance and tolerance, I will turn around and just simply aggressively say “GO AWAYYYYYYYY”.
Other very unique Indian sales phrases include:
My friend, FREE look! -FREE to look, no way!
Spend money! -OMG - best idea yet!!
Very cheap, for you. -for ME?!?!? Ahhhh!
More color inside -great, I was thinking if only you had tie-dyed blue…
Miss, very nice things -do you mean nicer than the 1839797 shops next door selling the exact same things??
…and the list goes on…
Other note is that almost all of the shops are identical. ALL tuk-tuk drivers have a shitty 3-wheel vehicle that has a 60% chance of getting you where you need to be before it breaks down or you fall out. Almost all restaurants serve the same menu – which all say “peanut butter toast”, and yet everyone doesn’t actually have peanut butter - the fishing worked. I will literally walk out of a restaurant and be asked by 10 people that saw me walk out of a restaurant to come eat in their restaurant. What do you want from me?!?
Besides my hostel staff, I truly don’t think I’ve yet to find an Indian man that I trust in the slightest as every single person I’m approached by, you find out quickly what they are really after…I’m calling bullshi* when you tell me you want to “practice speaking English".
The way I have tried thinking of a situation you can relate to is this - frat party going on, frat row at the U…lots of boys in pastel-colored jeans and LaCoste polos matched with some sort of boat shoes (are those still in? #3yearsoutofcollege) with 40s duct-taped to their hands. K, picture it. *Girl with giant glasses and her library book walks into the party. Girl sits in corner uncomfortably as she knows she doesn’t fit in.*
What kind of people approach the girl? Probably the kind of boys with poor intentions. I’m that girl (but less awkward I hope) in this country and THOSE frat boys are the Indian men. They’re bound to be everywhere; it’s unfortunately the ones I am having experiences with and thus, depicting the way I view Indian men. I have met some nice ones along the way, but almost always the "nice" is followed by "so come take a look in my shop please". DUDE, I only have a backpack!!
I’m now on the last leg of my journey and am quite excited to go home. I leave for one last city tomorrow morning and then heading back to Delhi (ugh) for some final shopping (and maybe a pedicure) and then catch my flight home! I’m in Udaipur right now which is a nice, cozy town with some lakes (man-made) in some foothills (not man-made) and known for its white buildings (01Nov). I did a cooking class here (Mama Shashi was amazing), found some REAL French press coffee (first of the trip), rented a bike and got a couple proper workouts in, took a sunset boat cruise, and tried to appreciate India for its beauty while ignoring the rest. Once you lose expectations, the experience becomes much sweeter! <3
3 days and counting! Namaste,
Exhausted & depleted Jen
PS. Did I mention I found REAL coffee?!? My saving grace <3
Go Local (entry #6)
Originally posted Nov 3rd, 2017; edited May 2020.
When it comes to buying your produce, I suggest going local. When it comes to buying fresh cuts of meat, I would also suggest going local. When it comes to dating, local is simply the simplest. BUT when it comes to transportation in India, I would not suggest applying this “go local concept. Let me explain.
Pictured below: one of my most favorite pics of India
Today was a whirlwind that almost led to a Jen-breakdown (02Nov), but I brought myself back to reality as stressing out over things and timing and schedules in this country gets you nowhere.
Here is a brief (or not so brief) real-life synopsis of how my day went down:
My hostel booked me a bus (per usual) that was scheduled to leave at 5:15AM. The way bus “tickets” work in this country is whoever books you a “ticket” writes down on a piece of paper when your bus leaves and the company your bus is through. You then get a ride to that “company” which can be anywhere from a man on a chair in a parking lot to a tent to the side of the road...the system is bound to break down once in a while as it's a friend calling a friend who calls a friend for a reservation.
4:45AM - I get to the bus station (too early for India). I am the only person waiting for the bus…Me: hmmm, something seems wrong.
5:15AM comes around and no bus and no more people at my “station” and no one speaks English around me. I try to ask a random man about my bus, and he hands me Chai. I try to ask another man about the bus, he points to a bench and says “sit”. So like an obedient lost puppy, I obey.
6AM comes around and still no bus. A man who can finally speak a bit of English shows up…Man: the bus is 160km away…it’s stuck in an accident. It might be here within 3 or 4 or 5 hours. Me: ummmm, okay…I’m going to get a different bus.
*go to local bus station (much poorer bus quality, riding with locals, very cheap, bench seating, packed buses, dirty, an experience for sure). They have a bus at 7AM! Internal pep talk: I can do this, I can do this!! Having traveled Asia a fair amount, I have a semi-good idea of what a local bus ride entails.
After much argument with Man, I get a 50% refund on my bus ticket.
6:59AM - get on the other “local” bus. I am the only white person on this bus because us white folks travelers don’t typically take local buses, so the stares are hot and heavy.
[Side note: have I described what an Indian stare feels like? If not, I’ll try my best - when Indian men stare, it goes deep into your soul to an extent that you feel like they are violating all laws of personal space and more. It’s like they are sucking out all the food you ate days before and then ingesting it themselves. It’s creepy and intense and continues for a lot longer than appreciated (even though it was never desired in the first place…). Unlike back home, when you “catch" an Indian man staring, instead looking away embarrassed you caught them staring, he continues the gaze…even deeper than before. I will even make faces that clearly say “HELLO, I SEE YOU. LONG ENOUGH, time to look away”, but it doesn’t make a difference. Anyone who has traveled India knows exactly what I’m talking about and let me tell you, I cannot wait to be a regular person and feel like I own all rights to my guts and soul. Disclaimer: this likely sounds like an unfair generalization I am making about all Indian men, but again, these are my experiences and that is all I can talk to. I actually went to the first stand I saw when I arrived in Pushkar and bought a 10 rupee "wedding" ring (that's about $0.15). When in India, if you are a white-western women, I suggest you be married. No buts about it, GET MARRIED. I’m upset I didn’t think of this earlier.]
...to continue the day...I survived the local bus, got where I needed to go (let go of the word “efficiently” today and all days in Asia), taxi driver tried to rip me off because I’m white and obviously dumb, so I got on another local bus because F taxi drivers here (20 rupees vs 1000 rupees, I’m boycotting), and then walked to my hostel from the bus station (again, because I’m boycotting – I’ll walk across this entire country if I have too!! #BOYCOT). 12 hours of travel later, I got to the town I get to enjoy just 24 hours in…#sigh. My hostel is chill and has a half volleyball court and some ‘mocks which I’m currently laying in. A lot of hippies are here naturally who are fun to be around because they really take the “enjoy life and be who you are” vibes seriously and I want to embrace more of that. Always need some inspiration like dreadlock to reminder you that life is short and stop taking yourself so seriously. <3 #wannabe
On to my last few cups of Indian Chai & I’ll be on my way back to the homeland! Am I ready to be home? Yes, yes I am.
#Namaste,
J.
PS. I also observed a holy ceremony by the lake tonight…the main man was raising a skull (of IDK what) and all were worshiping...to the skull? One will never know.
PPS. The falafels here are amazing & such a nice mix-up from the curry&bread.
PPSS. I miss peanut butter. And my babe. And all you other wonderful people who make me feel like a beautiful & strong women.
PPPSS. There is a camel festival going on in this town...so I'm surrounded by these odd creatures once again. Camel festival sound cool, but are the saddest things I’ve seen in a while. Similar to any animal exploitation I suppose. I mean, do you think this camel WANTED to be wearing this ridiculous outfit?
PPPSSS. don’t buy jewelry in this town. I met an expat and he said unless you really your jewelry, 10 times out of 10 they will sell you “fake” silver for the price of real silver. Don’t fall victim!!!
