Beat of Asia (pre-India '17)
Originally posted Oct 18th, 2017; edited May 2020.
Context: posted on my flight out to my first venture to India.
I'm not actually sure if it’s the 17th or the 16th of October at the moment because I’m technically traveling through time…or at least thru time zones as I'm writing this, but what does time mean in Asia anyways? (*preparing for the correct answer: WHAT is time again?) I’m currently just peeking over the Atlantic Ocean according to the in-flight tracker - bye, bye Mericah. See you in 9.5 hours Abu.
I’ve had very mixed emotions leading up to this trip which was somewhat unexpected - I experienced anxiousness, some sadness, some gratefulness, some disbelief that this idea I had months back actually became possible (even with a real life career), but most of all, I experienced an overwhelming amount of love and concern from all of my “team” which made me realize how full my heart is and how deep my support system runs.
As much as I consider myself as an independent, what is life if you only enjoy it with yourself? I recently found myself saying that my biggest fear in a relationship was losing that part of me. I have trained myself to have the mindset that if I had all the days to only hangout with just myself, I would be fine. Which I would be, but what if you can have more than fine? I’m beginning to realize those people that I let swoop into my “me time” are the people that are hardest to leave and the ones that make life the happiest. It made me realize how #blessed I am to have such amazing people who truly value our friendships and took the time to wish me safe travels. I truly teared up messaging back every single one of you that asked me to please be safe, that told me to have fun, and to live out the adventures they know I value and find passion within.
Naturally, having all of these feelings and emotions led me to reflection - it’s not my independence which defines me, but my passion for things/people/places that define me and drive me. Some great mentors have told me that they believe I will succeed in whatever I do because I have passion. Not for my work in specific, but in the desire to make a difference, to succeed, and to spread that fire to others. I am slowly seeing what that means and only hope I can share some of that with each person I encounter.
All of my tears and emotions were a combination of all the feels coming together - being torn between leaving the people that mean so much to me (sad tears, but lucky tears), realizing how much people care about me (#blessed tears), and chasing that pursuit of what sets my soul on fire (tears of gratefulness and for the unknown). I know it will be great in some form. And if not great, I will come away from the experience with something great (& maybe some really bad posture from the way I sit in airplanes). The tears have even helped me make a friend on the airplane … being one of the only white peoples on this flight, I not only stand out already, but now I’m the crying-white girl with weird things on her head (my Thai relax strips). Who wouldn’t feel like giving me a hug?!? #amIright
Traveling, for me, opens perspective and allows me to see what drives other people in a place so different than ours. What they live for. What they would die for. It also forces me to slow down, to take time for myself, to reflect and connect, to practice patience, to BE in the present, and to shut off the typical noise in my mind. I’m a very ancy person…I do not sit still nor give my mind a break. I value productivity and efficiency and making the most out of my hours, but when I have a 13-hour flight or an overnight bus or 10-hour Jeep ride, there isn’t a choice but to be still.
Time to re-connect, re-energize, reflect, and re-imagine the beauty in this special world.
Time to DO people,
B.A. J (my pep talk to self)
“Be FEARLESS in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire”
PS. For Mama bear: BA = Bad a$$ and “$” symbol = the letter “s”. Get it? ;)
PPS. S/O to my wonderful bf for waking up before 4AM to drive my booty to the airport.
PPSS. Why yes, of course, I am wearing my plane pants. 😊
#home is where the ♥️ Is.
